• Allowing each other to change, to acquire new, positive habits and attitudes. We say it’d be nice if this one would change this about herself and that one would change that about himself, but just let them try. Someone in the family will sabotage whoever seeks self-reinvention. Change in one requires shifts from all.
• Allowing each other to be refreshingly spontaneous, to grab hold of exciting opportunities, to seize moments of joy. We like the idea of all of that but soon enough others will rally to reign him in or get her under control. Mr or Miss Courageously Happy will find sharp curtailment from those committed to dim and dreary living. 
• Welcoming, permitting each other to take personal growth risks. Risks are encouraged so long as they are limited enough to be no risk at all.
• Letting go of the dream or the ideal and accepting reality. Despite our best efforts families rarely turn out as we’d hoped.
• Identifying the cumulative power of all of our combined family-yesterdays. This is to accept that generations of family history have the power to shape our immediate experiences and our tomorrows. Understanding we are not as autonomous as we may think is a hard pill to swallow. 

Posted on January 7, 2023 at 7:48 pm in Difficult Relationships   |  RSS feed |   Reply   |   Trackback URL