The Mercury / Tuesday

Powerful impact on a future……

The “right” schools, and carefully considered and monitored diets, guarded vocabulary, regular affirmations from attentive parents, and monitored internet activity are all very well but none of these solid parenting disciplines will shape a child’s life as powerfully as the ongoing presence of parents who are each living a mature life.

The mature parent:

• Has interest, passions, pursuits, and ambitions unrelated to the children. The children know they are one of several family priorities. The children receive divided attention.

• Loves the children without being unusually worried about, or preoccupied with them. The children are free to explore childhood without constant reminders to “be careful.” Mom and dad know “love” and “concern” and “worry” are not synonyms.

• Gives priority to a spouse or peers who are equipped to be in adult-to-adult relationships despite the natural pressure to defer to the children and their many demands. Adult-to-adult appropriate connections help keep the parent-child connection as free and uncomplicated as possible.

• Does not regard parenting as a path to redemption or proof of success as a person or parent. Mom and dad understand that redemption parenting is far too heavy a burden to place upon any child.

• Intentionally recruits multi-generational family involvement as much as possible.

• Is now, today, as much as possible, being the adult she or he hopes his or her children will one day be.

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Posted on October 14, 2019 at 5:28 pm in Difficult Relationships   |  RSS feed |   Reply   |   Trackback URL