Is he or she a “healthy” date?

by Rod Smith

Several ways you can tell you are dating a really healthy person (or not):

  • He/she has a life already and is not waiting for you to complete it. There is no desperation in tone or behavior. There are no threats if you are unavailable!
  • He/she has a job and is not looking to you for a loan. There is no talk of the big sale that’s just about to occur or the ship that’s coming in or the horse that’s going to win. If there’s talk of incredible international fame waiting in the wings you’ve just seen a red flag. 
  • He/she has ongoing and positive and frequent and open conversations with his/her family. It may not be perfect but there are no permanent cut-offs or talk of hating anyone. A person who says things like, “I hate my brother / mom / dad,” is showing you the menu so you know what will be served.
  • He/she is both planned and spontaneous – yes, it is possible. Planning occurs because it’s wise (you get more done) but plans can be modified if something more exciting comes up. Emotional health and spontaneity are very close cousins.

(All of the above are in response to real (usually on-line) dating circumstances.)

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