Child-centered families

by Rod Smith

The Mercury / Thursday

Child or children-centered families

Mom and dad (or one or the other and sometimes both) have lost their lives to the children. The parent is tethered, leashed to the children, and the children have the power to shorten or lengthen the leash at will. In time the children behave like the CEOs of a corporation and the adults are employees. Outsiders call the child entitled or spoiled.

Mom and dad (or one or the others and sometimes both) has such anxiety about children that other adults (friends, extended family) tend to avoid social contact with the parents in order to avoid the exhaustion that comes with trying to be together. The progressive isolation is hardly noticed by the anxious parent given that the children get all the attention anyway.

The family’s social life is subject to the children’s schedules, wishes, whims, pleasures, and displeasures. Given that the happiness of the children is all-important, plans with outsiders are cancelled or postponed without thought. If outsiders express dissatisfaction about the children possessing inordinate power the overly-focused parents dismiss the objections as a lack of understanding committed parenting or love.

Bringing children to size is a lot more difficult than it is to allow them to have appropriate size right from the outset.

[Your insights are valued – please post below. Thanks.]

One Comment to “Child-centered families”

  1. I enjoy receiving your articles. Mahalo!

    I’ve been in education all my life. I’m turning 80 and still keep contact with my former students. What I tell them is that the greatest gift they can give their children is to love their spouse. I believe that if there children see the love they have for eachother their they will learn how to love. If their children are the main focus of their love they become the center, they tend to be self-centered.

    Keep up the good work you do.

    Peace,
    John

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