The hope of artful parenting….

by Rod Smith

The Mercury / Friday 12/8/2017

Knowing when to step in, when to step up, and when to step out, and understanding that in some odd dance you may have to do all three all at the same time.

  • Accurately sensing when to ask for more information and when to mind your own business. Understanding that not everything pertaining to your child is your business. There are things he or she will really have to face and deal with without you and in his or her own way.
  • Learning to accept that some of the things you will hear and some of the things you will see are to remain hidden in your heart forever. This includes discerning when to tell stories about your children and when to keep things private. Some things you think are cute and funny your child may prefer be kept out of your volume of told and retold stories.
  • Developing the skill to know what to regard as important and what to ignore.
  • Facilitating independence and its possibility and its inevitability from day one. Yes, day one.
  • Being able to listen to what is said and to what is not said and resisting the urge to hear what you’d prefer to hear in both.
  • Developing your own healthy boundaries even if it feels that you love your children so much that you don’t need them.
  • Resisting the use of guilt as a motivator.
  • Learning to sufficiently love your own life, pursue your own goals, embrace your own dreams, so that your children are loved and encouraged with your divided attention.

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