Recurring themes in therapy……

by Rod Smith

• Grandparents who are excluded from their grandchildren’s lives and the severe pain this involves for the grandparents. This can be the result of vast distances but it is usually not. It’s often an expression of unresolved family issues that don’t even involve the particular set of grandparents. It’s the son-in-law who won’t resolve issue with his own parents so he restricts his children from access to his wife’s parent. Grandparents can be easy and convenient targets for unresolved issues.

• Women (yes, it’s usually women) who give too much too soon to men who for whatever reason refuse to grow up and take responsibility for themselves. While their hope and resilience of such women is to be admired, sometimes hoping a woman will see that loving herself first will save her a lot of heartache seems lost. Like any addict they have to reach rock bottom before change can come and growth may occur.

• Parents who have lost each other as partners and lost themselves as individuals to their over-dedication to parenting.

• Young adults who have been so over-parented and so over-protected that they cannot believe how harsh the world outside their home really is and how much it really seems to insist that they have to grow up.   

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