This week I have interviewed a woman whose husband:

• Destroyed her underwear because he couldn’t get the thought out of his head of another man seeing her in it. She has never had an affair. He has.
• Listens to her voicemails and messages and records her phone calls without her knowledge. Any call with a man (she is a saleswoman with many male clients) is “decoded” into affair-talk.
• Not worked in years. He has to stay home and make sure his wife is meeting men when he is not home.
• Blames her for covering for him when his alcohol issues began. He says he would have gotten help had she not lied.

Clearly the husband is a very troubled man and both people need help. It became clear to me once more, as it has in so many situations, that the woman (usually) is an expert in the behavior of her husband but somewhat (not fully) unaware of her own behavior. It became very clear to the woman that she is in danger of her life. As a result of our meeting she will pursue the divorce she’s already planned.

I am thankful to share these generalities and would encourage any woman facing anything vaguely similar to get help. Some men (and women) are very dangerous.

Posted on October 24, 2016 at 9:21 am in Difficult Relationships   |  RSS feed |   Reply   |   Trackback URL