He helped me through a dark time……

by Rod Smith

“I’m 31. My husband is 69. I have a young daughter. When my mother was dying my husband helped me through a very dark time. In a state of confusion I ended up moving in and marring him. He is good to my daughter and me but we have never ever had sex. He doesn’t even try. I feel alone and empty. I started an affair with a wonderful man and can feel myself falling in love with him. When I’m with him he lights my whole life up. When I leave him I feel sad and torn. I don’t feel close to anyone and really want to leave. As much as I want to go I don’t want to hurt my husband but staying is killing me. I’m so unhappy I am getting hooked on tablets to numb the pain. Any advice?”

Find face-to-face counseling that will assist you to talk things through with your husband. An affair, tablets, and playing hide-and-seek will temporarily alleviate the issues, but not resolve the issues in your sexless, unhappy marriage. Of course your affair “lights up” your “whole life.” This is what affairs do. They also seduce participants away from the “real” issues and offer avoidance, not love.

2 Comments to “He helped me through a dark time……”

  1. Learn to talk with your husband when something is bothering you. Don’t run away thinking that where you go is better. You might be surprised of his support to make the marriage work.

  2. Things are still the same. I’ve tried on numerous occasions to talk to my husband but living a sexless marriage seems okay to him. He’s not a bad man but there’s no communication. It’s just his way or no way. I saw a friend last week and the problems she had in her life made me think and look around at what I’ve got. I’m still having an affair. It’s still an escape and something to look forward to but I’m trying not to get involved emotionally. I don’t want to end up a bitter person through living like this.

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