He wanted sex all the time until we moved in together…..

by Rod Smith

“He wanted sex several times a week, sometimes everyday, until we moved in together. He says he loves me but now he hardly touches me. He’s distant and withdrawn and angry. I don’t understand. Please help.” (This is a theme of dozens of letters received every month).

Move on. Don’t mistake the desire for sex for love. Sometimes the two are poles apart. What you had before you moved in together was a very immature relationship. He wanted sexual relief, not you. He “loved” not you, but what you could do for him. He wanted the pleasures that come with being physically intimate but he did not want the ongoing responsibilities of sharing your life. What he apparently did not want was the ongoing emotional, physical, and psychological presence that accompanies authentic connection with another human being. Such men can “do” sex, it is the rest of life that overwhelms men who are sexually, or as I have called, “penis propelled.”

2 Comments to “He wanted sex all the time until we moved in together…..”

  1. Lucia's avatar

    Yes, the answer is quite proper.
    But try to talk first about what bother him if is so angry and distant. If he loves you will accept a discussion and may be toghether you will fond a solution, if he does not accept the discution……

    MOVE ON!

  2. Shaundra's avatar

    There are a lot of factors that can play into why the situation is what it is now. I am sure you have tried discussing this matter with him. So to tell you to talk with him to get to the root of the issue is redundant. For yourself I would suggest looking at your relationship from your own point of view. You know the man you are with better than any of us do and therefore you can give yourself the best advice. No matter what you must not lie to yourself and make excuses for him. The most important thing is to love yourself enough to not have years of your life sucked into a relationship with someone who just loves thrills. Is there a possibility of infidelity? If there are no kids between the two of you and you see no future in his eyes. Protect yourself and do not stick around feeling worthless and unloved. If you are unable to reach him and he is showing you he does not want to be reached. The thrill is gone and he is going to find that thrill outside your home. That is a road you do not want to take. Women must always remember the importance of self love.

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