My mother-in-law spoils our children and my wife won’t tell her to stop…

by Rod Smith

“My mother-in-law spoils our children and my wife won’t tell her to stop. We have been married for seven years and I am tired of her mother interfering in our lives and especially with spoiling the children. What should I do?”

When, Sir, did you lose the ability to speak for yourself? I trust you know that your mother-in-law’s power within your family might be a direct result of your unwillingness or inability to speak up for yourself.

Your wife’s mother is your mother-in-law: speak to her yourself.

I’d suggest that since you perceive your wife as the spokesperson for matters relating to your mother-in-law, that your assessment of how she treats your children might not be fair or accurate.

Before you launch into addressing this matter that is causing you distress, I’d suggest you get several opinions from friends who are men enough to have a mutual, respectful, and equal relationships with the mothers of their brides and the grandmothers of their children.

There are such men? Yes. I have met them in every culture I’ve had the joy of visiting.

3 Comments to “My mother-in-law spoils our children and my wife won’t tell her to stop…”

  1. I agree with Rod. You would be served well to look in the mirror and make efforts to build a more open relationship with your mother-in-law that would allow you to be more comfortable and confident in expressing your feelings. I suspect that your perception of her spoiling the children is the tip of the iceberg of issues that you have with your mother-in-law. This is at least a 7 year relationship, which through your silence and your actions you have allowed the relationship to become what it is. There are no instant answers here, time to take a hard and honest look at your part in this relationship and then as Rod suggested, start speaking up and opening a conversation. Be warned, putting your foot down and expecting the relationship to change will most likley not change it for the better. Your next steps and “words” need to be carefully thought out. The other critical step that you must first achieve is to ensure that you and your wife are on the same page when it comes to how your mother-in-law interacts with your children. Without your wifes agreement, you could end up a man without a country.

  2. All i have to say in any case. Mother-in-law is just another word for terrorist!!!

  3. My mother-in-law is always tring to run our lives. She make these mean and hurtful comments that the only reason i work “is to be away from my 5 month old son. So i quite my job. Well 3 weeks later i come down with the stomatch visuse and my husband asked her to watch him so i would not get him sick. Once again she smarts off and says ” yall dont even want a baby nor do yall need one.” Not to mention when she gets drunk she trys to put a beer can to his mouth ” he is teething” is what she says. At this point i dont want her to have anything to do with my son, and want her out of our lives. what do i do. We need help!!!!!!!

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