My wife is addicted to her cell phone — help!

by Rod Smith

My wife is constantly on her cell-phone. She is so “connected” with (text) messages and calls that it has more power over her than she realizes. It’s a drug. Even the children notice that she can hardly have a conversation without having one eye on the phone. Sometimes I want to flush it down the toilet. What should I do?

Push back will not help at all.....

Flushing it down the toilet will clog more than your plumbing.

Keep in mind that it is hardly ever possible to force or push people into change others desire for them. You might have noticed people have a way of exerting equal pressure in the opposite direction (they “push back”) when they feel coerced, cornered or trapped.

Therefore, I’d suggest you do as little as possible but to attempt to create the ambiance for a helpful conversation about your concern. Choose a relaxed, “unemotional” moment and gently, clearly state what it is that you think is an issue, then challenge your wife to consider the impact her response to her mobile phone is having upon her life and family.

It is hardly likely that this will be news to her, so challenge her to find her own way out of her electronic bondage (which of course, she might not consider a problem at all).

4 Comments to “My wife is addicted to her cell phone — help!”

  1. Rod,
    I agree with your advice not to “push” the issue and to approach it gently. The key question, I believe the cell phone addicted wife should ask herself is, why does she feel the need to constantly be on the phone and what is she really missing when she is afraid of what she is missing? In other words as you pointed out, how much of her family is she missing because she busy on the cell phone.
    The other thought is that the cell phone may now be a way to avoid having to interact with the family, it may simply be an avoidance technique. I know of a couple where the wife sleeps all of the time, why does she sleep all of the time, she admitted to me that she sleeps to avoid the chaos of her family, particularly her husband.
    TV, computer, cell phones, sleep, all of these can used as a method to avoid “real life”.
    I am not saying that this is the case in this situation, just something to think about.

  2. thanks, Tobeme, let’s trust the initial writer reads our two responses…. my response was in yesterday’s paper — let’s hope the family look on-line for more information.

    You are a very insightful person — thanks for your comments.

    Rod Smith

  3. My wife is addicted to her cell phone and nothing I say or do will convince her otherwise. The woman is contantly on her phone talking or text messaging. She sleeps with her phone, clutching it like a childs stuffed toy. She cannot bare to have her phone out of her sight for even a minute. My wife has even texed people during sex! Forget about having a conversation or watching a movie together.It just isn’t going to happen.

    I have treid to discuss this issue with her but allmy wife does is just stare back atmeaning. All attemps at meaningful conversation or at just spending time together are nothing more than exercises in futility. What really hurts me is the fact thatmy wife, who is an intelligent woman, does not see the peoblem or, if she does, refuses to get help. In the meantime, I am lost. My wife is literally disatroying our marriage and refuses to do anything about it.

  4. I simply blocked my wife’s Cell phone. Deleted all her contacts and threw the cell in my drawer. If she wants to live life happily she has to sacrifice these toys .

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