Found Porn in Son’s Room

by Rod Smith

“I found graphic pornography in my fifteen-year-old son’s bedroom. My husband and I want to handle this in a positive way. We have never been open to talking to him about sex.”

Together, as husband and wife, tell your son that you have found pornography in his room. Gently, and with kindness, tell him that you cannot perpetually monitor what he reads and that his reading material is something he himself will have to control.

Discussing pornography, and teaching your son healthy attitudes about sex, have nothing in common. Pornography is about lust, conquest, depersonalizing of people, runaway imaginations. It has nothing to do with love. Tell him you do not endorse pornography because it focuses on body parts, not people. It separates people from their bodies and makes people into objects in the mind of the user. Healthy sexuality, at minimum, is about love, respect, mutuality and equality.

Teach your son (as a couple) using discussions, books and videos, everything you want him to know about healthy human sexuality. Get over your hurdles about having such discussions. I am often amazed that parents will go to enormous effort to plan their approach to parenting, and yet miss talking about matters of human sexuality altogether!

One Comment to “Found Porn in Son’s Room”

  1. Pornography is a natural thing for the human body. It helps men(and women…*Shock*) control the lust to mate that they naturally have. There is nothing wrong with it. True he needs to understand the difference between it and real women/men but why would you scold him and make him feel uncomfortable about is human nature and make him feel uncomfortable even more? Its poor parenting not to be able to accept things like this.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s