Archive for July 19th, 2005

July 19, 2005

Anger, the Messenger

by Rod Smith

I have seen my propensity to think of others as responsible for anger I might feel. I have blamed the traffic, my children, even the neighbor’s dogs for a moment of anger I endured when things would not go according to my wishes. Similarly, I have heard men and women blame the government, the economy and even newborn babies for their outbursts of anger.

The person feeling angry, exhibiting anger, can attempt to shift the blame for their anger, but the angry person must look within before anger issues can be resolved. While an angry man believes his anger is someone else’s responsibility he will not find relief from its tenacious hold.

Mature, thinking, sane people (surely, what we want to be!) take responsibility for their emotions, anger often being the toughest to corral. They resist blaming a spouse or traffic for their feelings. They see anger (and all “destructive” emotions) as notification from deep within that something is awry, waiting to be addressed.

Anger-provoking events (a late spouse, being kept waiting at the bank, someone ate the ice-cream!) simply allow the presence of anger to be announced. Healthy people listens to such emotions and learns from them, rather than inflicting them on others.