“I have never been close to my parents or to my in-laws. My parents accept this and know how to ‘dance’ with me. My parents accept me like I am. My in-laws are always trying to get closer to me and I think of it as suffocating. That’s how it feels to me. What can I do? This is causing some conflict in my marriage and with my children. They are the kinds of in-laws who want to be very involved with their grandchildren which of course means being quite involved with me as their mother.”
There are several things you can do, the first thing to do is rejoice that you have in-laws who want to be involved with your children. This is a wonderful gift to you and to your husband and your children who will reap wonderful benefits of a close relationship with their grandparents in the future,
Try to express your feelings of “suffocation” to your in-laws. This may assist them to “dance” a little differently with you. Your request, your observation, is legitimate. Expressing it kindly, I hope, will lead to greater understanding.
Your in-laws and your parents are all part of your immediate network of family. Avoid getting your husband into the middle of any of these things.
Do your own talking and try to avoid doing your talking “through” him.
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