I have gotten my fair share of letters asking about parenting only to discover the “baby” to whom the letter refers is a 40-something year-old man!
I know this is an unpopular thought but I repeat, parenting ends.
Somewhere around 17 to 20 it’s done.
Parents have two decades to train children for great lives, to face challenges, love others, and to serve their communities.
This is sufficient time to complete such training if it begins in the parents’ hearts and heads long before the child is born and is implemented immediately after the child is born. I do not mean that you are no longer his or her parent – that you will always be – but the function of parenting on your part, ends. Of course you can guide and assist and encourage and support but if it is not complete in 20 years it’s unlikely it will ever end.
He will “always be my baby” if you allow it and treat him like one.
Actively teach your children from as young as possible to be independent of you.
“The day will come when you can do all this (cooking, cleaning, laundry, finances, deciding, planning, loving others) on your own,” and, “you don’t need me nearly as much as you think you do,” and “look at how capable you are,” are wonderful things to tell your children.
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