I resist stating the obvious but you are much more than meets the eye.

We just are.

The iceberg metaphor is true for us all. There is a lot more going on beneath the surface of our lives than others, and even we ourselves, are able to see, let alone understand.

Sometimes the “iceberg” may feel like a volcano and your behavior is curt or erratic and you are short-tempered. Sometimes the “iceberg” is a secure yacht on a very calm ocean and you are friendly and relaxed and a model of kindness.  

It may be comforting (or discomforting) to know we are each a mass of compounded generational history perched on mountains of successes, failures, flaws, aspirations, losses and disappointments. Beneath the surface are jostling urges and surging tides coming from three or more generations of unresolved family conflict.

You are probably much more capable than you sometimes reveal. You are probably more loving and kind than some circumstances reveal you to be. There are things you’d like to say under some circumstances and pressures but you hold your tongue, cautious for how what you’d really like to say will be received or perceived – but you can’t really explain your silence.

“Don’t mess with my ‘iceberg,’” may be all the explanation you need.