Detoxing your triangles

by Rod Smith

We all live within intricate networks of triangles. They can be empowering platforms or viscous traps. Most, thankfully, are somewhere in between such dramatic extremes. Here are a few ways to detox your many triangles and keep them beneficial to you and your family:

  • If you have an issue with someone address it directly with that person and avoid speaking about your issue to others. This is “sending your mail to the right address.” 
  • Be responsible to others and not responsible for them. Honor all the adults in your life by relinquishing responsibility for them and by being responsible to them.
  • Get out of “the middle” and then stay out of the middle of relationships of which you’re not a part. Inserting yourself into things that are none of your business will run you ragged until you’re fully depleted. The estranged relationship your siblings endure with each other with each other is an example of a relationship that is none of your business.
  • Avoid entangling yourself with relationships that pre-exist your involvement – if it (the issue) started before you it’s unlikely to end with you.
  • Be aware of invisible loyalties that come with being family and blood – they will usually escape reason and, if you involve yourself, will turn on you. When it comes to family and blood ties, people seldom employ logic.

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