Fundamentals

by Rod Smith

I can tell from my mail that it’s time to go back to fundamentals

  • Love and control cannot coexist in the same relationship. It’s one or the other. Choose.
  • Forgiveness is not for the other, the offender, the one who has done the hurting. It is for the one who is forgiving. Resentment and bitterness hurt the person offering them hospitality.
  • All behavior has meaning. Hurt people hurt people. There are reasons people are unkind. This does not mean you have to put up with it. It does mean that you can have some understanding and appreciate that the person who goes about hurting others is probably in greater pain than he or she is able to inflict.
  • Listening to others, hearing their stories, is usually a good idea. This is especially so if you regard others as having something valuable to teach you.
  • Important or necessary conversations between (and among) people only “take” or “work” if all parties are ready for the conversation. People are really good at looking like they are listening, even agreeing. Don’t be fooled into thinking you are being heard. Physical presence is no assurance that someone is listening.
  • If a relationship is void of respect, equality and mutuality, it is not worth pursuing. Not now, not ever.

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