When is a relationship not a relationship?

by Rod Smith

When is a relationship not a relationship?

When it feels like a game of chess and you have to constantly think ahead to outsmart your opponent or be outsmarted.

When it’s conditional and the conditions include a list of who you may or may not phone, text, or meet.

When what you choose to wear becomes a source of friction.

When it involves dominance or control and your natural resistance to it results in conflict and your commitment and love is questioned.

When your whereabouts and activities are monitored and you are expected to account for the use of your time, money, and mileage.

When you have to lie about visiting your family or friends or have to deny your desire to spend time with others on the “outside” of the “relationship.”

When he or she just happens to show up – and your degree of joy and surprise is evaluated, but what is actually happening is your ability to be trusted is being assessed. 

When you have to anticipate your partner’s needs, read his or her mind, anticipate his or her moods, and respond in a manner that makes him or her happy or feel loved. 

When no matter how much you try to love, forgive, have fun, be serious, be carefree, be intimate, be unconditional in your love – it is NEVER enough.

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