Four Fundamentals About Relationships

by Rod Smith
  • Neither you nor I can bring change to a relationship we are not part of or willing to participate in. Third party or arm’s length involvement will always be regarded as interference and will find resistance.
  • Neither you nor I will successfully hope or will all the change we may want to come to another (spouse, son, in-law, friend) until they, themselves, will and want that change we are wasting our energies. Pressure will meet resistance and often promote the very opposite of what we are wanting and hoping at the outset.  
  • If we feed it, it will grow; if we enable it, it will grow; if we accommodate it, it will grow; if we allow it, it will grow. Choosing our responses to “it” – whatever it is, ought to be carefully considered. This broad principle works for good and for ill, the positives and the negatives in our lives. 
  • Like it or not, you and I send out signals to others, some really strong, some really subtle, so, take a little time to evaluate what those signals may be. You and I may need some independent help to read and discern what we are emitting. This somewhat explains why similar relationship dilemmas seem to repeatedly face the same people.

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