There are things worse for children than divorce

by Rod Smith

The Mercury / Monday

There are things worse for children than divorce….

• Being caught in the crossfire between warring parents.

• Switching armies, territories, uniforms, depending on who you’re with.

• Being super-over-protected when the hyper-vigilance is really geared to suggest the other parent is negligent by comparison.

• Hearing constant threats about court and custody and money.

• Not knowing what you can talk about depending on where you are and who you are with.

• Having loyalties tested because your significant adults regard your willingness to be with them as a signal of their success.

• Having to face weird punishments if you leak information you didn’t know was secret.

• Having to learn by observation about passive/aggressive behaviors but being punished if you actually use any such behaviors yourself.

• Hearing both parents say they never speak badly about the other parent but you know the truth.

• Loving one parent’s new man or woman but feeling like a betrayer because of the love you feel.

Imperfect Antidote: Do everything possible to be honest with your children and to be respectful and cooperative with your ex. It’s a process. It’s a journey. There is hope.

Last call for a handful of seats: Women’s Breakfast on Wednesday, March 11, 2020 (9 to 10:30am) at the Butcher Boys Restaurant, Hillcrest. Book at R120, continental breakfast.

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