How to spoil a child

by Rod Smith

How to spoil a child:

  • Run interference for your child as much as possible and so reduce all possibilities that your child may learn that actions and inaction have natural consequences. 
  • Get in the face of every teacher, coach, referee your child ever encounters (and do it as soon as possible) so your child and all officials know who is really in charge. 
  • Give your child the impression that teachers, coaches, school authorities, even the police are all idiots so they will always feel above the rules and the law.
  • Ignore common civility so your child will learn to behave similarly.
  • Praise your child excessively – and suggest others do the same – especially where little or no skill, talent, or meeting a challenge is necessary so the pain of having to learn something new or difficult may be delayed, even avoided.
  • Blame the teacher or the school if your child doesn’t do homework. Belittle the way it’s assigned, it’s timing, the lack of access to resources and its relevance – but never, never suggest the child’s homework is the child’s responsibility. 
  • Do your very best to live as though every discomfort in your life is someone or something else’s fault so that your child may project blame as much as you do.

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