Time together

by Rod Smith

The Mercury – Tuesday / when we spend time together:

Appropriate for all relationships, casual to intimate….

Next time we are together for coffee or lunch or a walk on the beach …

• I will leave my phone at home or in the car or turned off so I can spend uninterrupted the time with you and give you my full attention.

• I will talk about whatever you want to talk about without turning the conversation to be about me, my children, my aches, my losses, my boss, or my past relationships.

• I will listen to you without waiting to speak, without following your story with something bigger, better, or more dramatic. I will actually listen. I won’t use every moment of silence as an on-ramp for my bigger, bolder, or braver story. Even when I ask questions, my questions will be an attempt to identify more closely with you rather than seek to steer you in the direction of what I really want to talk about.

• I will honor the confidentiality our conversation deserves and expect the same from you. A confidence is what you tell me about yourself and what I tell you about myself – I understand that all the rest is gossip no matter how well intentioned we may sound.

• While we are together I will not speak about other people in a negative manner no matter who they are and no matter how much we both might want to. Talking negatively about others when we are together is an indication that we have unresolved issues or conflicts between us. Let’s take care of what we are avoiding so we can leave other people alone.

[Cut, paste, copy, mail – please, use as needed]

One Comment to “Time together”

  1. Beautiful writing and meaningful words.
    I always regards your advice with respect. Today I read about courageous women. I am one I hope. I was married for 20 years. Got out by God’s grace 7 years ago. It took hard work, blood, sweat and tears to survive. My story is not unique. BUT what helped me to heal and thrive was my faith in God. I seeked out wisdom and calmness from the bible. I prayed so hard my heart nearly stopped. I trusted God with everything.
    Now I can say, I am a brave women.

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