by Rod Smith

“My wife and I are really struggling with a miscarriage we had just over four months ago. This has broken our hearts. We were very excited and had prepared everything for our baby. What breaks our hearts even more are the horrible things people say, even close family, like ‘it wasn’t meant to be’ and ‘God is in control’ and ‘the baby went back to heaven’ and ‘you will get pregnant again.’ I think I am a little better at responding to these stupid comments (which are meant to be showing comfort) than my wife is. She doesn’t want to be out in public or even with family and friends because she is so tired of the ridiculous things people say. What do you think?”

Your letter is sufficient to inform family and friends what not to say to a grieving couple. I hope your letter will be read and result in insensitive men and women becoming more aware of the intense grief you and couples like you have had to endure.

Your parent head and your parent heart will never forget the child with whom you bonded for a brief time. You will love the child forever and part of you will grieve forever.

Hope awaits you both. The loss will ultimately transform you if you will allow. 

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