Dangerous men are often charming in public. In private they are sarcastic and cynical, and commit private acts of control, malice, and deceit. They isolate intimates. When extended family contact is inevitable they limit, control, and monitor it. Visits with extended family are routinely bookended with intense blowups. They accuse their wives of lies, affairs, and demand unreciprocated honesty. They can pin their wives and children to the wall using dagger eyes. When feeling out of control, disobeyed, or disrespected, their malice will, without intervention, escalate to growing acts of violence.
Their acts of violence will usually start “small” and be followed by silence or shock or remorse, but they will grow until requiring the victim to avoid being seen in public. The victim will often, without pressure, cover her injuries or go into hiding.
Such men silence their children using a rich combination of charm, fear, power, threats, and a sense of exclusivity.
Women stay with such men for many reasons, primarily because their lives are baptized in fear.
Before I am flooded with emails informing me that women can also be violent know that I am aware. But, it is predominantly men. The last four very recent incidents of domestic violence I have heard about have all been men.
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