Coffee-shop behavior

by Rod Smith

How to behave in a coffee shop:

  • Spread your belongings onto several chairs and pull a few tables together so you can occupy as much space as possible. Sigh and grumble when customers are looking for a place to sit and hint that you may want to offer a little of your coffee shop real estate to others.
  • Have several technology devices going at the same time so as to add to your importance – one lap-top computer is not enough – have a couple of phones going too, even if you’re just watching your latest YouTube post on all of them to boost your numbers.
  • Give dirty looks to people at tables who are disturbing your work by talking to each other.
  • Order the cheapest drink on the menu and occupy the space hours after you’ve consumed it. Keep the cup to show you have paid your way.
  • When you arrive huff and puff near your favorite tables if they are occupied. The customers who are there before you might not know you they are in your spot.
  • Set up your office space and conduct interviews with prospective employees or prospective customers. They will be really impressed with your approach to cost savings and they’ll have an inkling about how you will treat them.

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