Attraction / complexity….

by Rod Smith

The Mercury

Healthy and unhealthy attraction – it’s about much more than what or who meets the eye….

When you are emotionally strong, determined to achieve declared personal goals, and are looking for healthy adventure – you will attract people who are similarly strong and motivated.

This alone is enough incentive to get your act together, as much as it is possible, before you launch into seeking a life-partner or even a casual date.

• Healthy people attract healthy people.

• Healthy people are less likely to play relationship games.

• Healthy people don’t make relationships into win or lose contests.

• Healthy people are looking to give and to share and explore rather than take and get, preserve and hold.

If you are emotionally vulnerable, lacking in direction, seeking a savior or someone to rescue you from your woes – you will attract someone who needs a person just like you. Of course, when he or she comes along, it will feel like a match made in heaven.

• Unhealthy people attract equally unhealthy people.

• Hurt people attract hurt people.

Committed victims (those who use a shattered past for sympathy or gain), those who wallow in their wounds, tend to enter new relationships with old and familiar patterns. A relationship that seems to offer great hope will usually quickly descend into games of possession, control, and manipulation.

Attraction is about far more than what meets the eye. It’s far more than skin deep. Health calls to health. Ambition calls to ambition.

Sadly, unresolved issues and traumas find great comfort, albeit temporary, in those who’ve known equal relationship trauma – and little is as attractive for some, than to have someone to rescue or someone willing to try.

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