People do what they want to do

by Rod Smith

The Mercury / Tuesday

A few things I have observed over the years:

• People do what they are ready to do. No matter how skilled a counselor may be or how dire a situation may be, people determine their own pace and do what they are ready to do. The same is true for grief. People grieve at their own pace and you cannot move it along in the hopes of getting it done any sooner. For most, deep grief is never done. It moves, it shifts, but some grief is never fully over. It may heal, but there is no scar remover for some losses.

• People do what they want to do. They may do a lot of finger pointing and find a lot of reasons why something can or cannot be done when it comes to things they do not really want. But, when a person wants to do something he or she will find a way. I’ve seen mountains move under the feet of someone who really wants something.

• People can, and often do, learn from their errors and when people do, it changes just about everything about their lives. They start to take more and more personal responsibility and the success breeds more and more success. Their lives spiral up. When people refuse to learn from their errors and repeat the same things time after time, their lives spiral down.

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