Co-parenting is not for the immature

by Rod Smith

I consider these are reasonable guidelines for children whose parents are divorced. You, of course, may think differently. These principles will assume the parents (all of them – step, cohabitants, exes) are mature and have the highest interest for the whole family and then for each child:

  • All the adults who parent the children meet regularly to discuss important matters pertaining to the children: education, schedules, holidays, gifts, discipline, values, and up and coming celebrations.
  • Court orders form the basis of procedures and decisions. Meetings may occur monthly or quarterly. Responsibility for scheduling the meetings shifts between mother and father. Volatile families may find meeting in a public place helpful.
  • All the adults trust all the adults to seek the highest interests of the children. All the adults respect the time and sanctity of the relationship the children have with the “other” family – and leave them alone during that time.
  • Parents attend as many school events and school and club sports events and practices as possible – no matter whose week or weekend it is. Absences are not interpreted as a lack of interest or lack of love but rather as a function or filtered hierarchy or priorities. Some things are more important than cricket practice.

I am fully aware of the enormity of this challenge. Parenting was never for the immature anyway.

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