Things I have learned from being a solo parent with my sons almost 19 and 15:

by Rod Smith
  • The children are seldom the issue – it’s earning a living, running a household, and keeping it all going that is the constant challenge.  When the children are very young it’s quite acceptable to let the household chores remain undone if the trade off is time to be with the children.
  • Trying to be both dad and mom is a fruitless and impossible pursuit – many a successful person has emerged from a solo parent family and trying to do the impossible will ensure failure. This said, there’s a mother and a father in us all and children get what they need despite our failings.
  • Getting beyond the “guilt” or the remorse attached to children who have one parent is best done as early as possible. It’s amazing just how resilient children are and how, what others consider unusual, is absolutely normal for my sons.
  • Staying out of the middle of as much as possible has been a real boon – letting my children deal with their teachers, their conflicts, without my interference has compelled them to advocate for themselves and to see just how capable and powerful they (and all people) really are.

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