“My son (23) is moving to London. We lived there as a family when he was very small. My husband is very upset. He says he is too young to be heading off into life on his own with so little to his name and hardly a completed education. Now since the attacks of last week my husband is saying the UK is unsafe. How do I support both my husband and my son? Right now they are not talking which is very upsetting. Our son leaves in 3 weeks.”

This is a complex family circumstance (aren’t they all?) for several reasons:

• Your husband may be finding a way to make this inevitable separation easier for himself by stimulating conflict. It’s “easier” to watch someone go if you’re peeved.
• The UK is no safer or more dangerous than anywhere on the planet. Recent events, as sad as they are, give credence to your husband’s fears of facing his son’s departure.
• Heading off alone to London at 23 is a sure-fire way to become more completely educated. It’s a fabulous city that is bounding with opportunity.

I hope they make repair soon. Conflict face-to-face is tough enough. Stretching it across the oceans will make it even more intense.