Healthy families

by Rod Smith

Forgiveness is always available and ways to find it are known and discussed. Then, once it is granted, the forgiven person is free to go on his or her way and live as if the transgression had never existed.

There are bizarre circumstances when forgiveness cannot be immediately available, when reconciliation is impossible, but these circumstances are so extreme I will not address here.

People go out of their way for each other; they pool resources to empower each other; they put family and the needs of family ahead of the needs and the demands of those outside the family. There are exceptions and there are friends who become family.

Then, there are family members and friends who will milk others dry. They should not be enabled.

Safety and protection can be found and trusted in a family. Secrets, weaknesses, vulnerabilities are safe in the sacred circle of the family. People can be strong and weak and brave and afraid without fear of exposure.

Of course there are secrets that should not be safe and expressions of weakness that should be exposed but again, these situations are so extreme I will not address then here.

One Comment to “Healthy families”

  1. it is a simple truth but it takes a long time to realize that. I think it is difficult because “we” tend to look for the ‘rights’ and ‘wrongs’ and are constantly in the problem fixing mood and thats what we often learned from our parents (without blaming them because they were for sure not in a better way position as we) and from school. It is a great relief when you can discover that your home is a “safe space” for listening and silent support and also a playground without trying to fix the problems of the others (do this, do that). It is also a great gift when your children start to talk about what they are feeling instead of hiding what is difficult for them. All this starts with your own inner calmness and the readyness to let the things go their way, what is easy to say and hard to do.

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