“My ex-husband insists on coming into my house when he drops off the children because he ‘pay for all this’ and he insists on seeing the children’s rooms to ‘check they are safe’ and he walks around the house as if he still lives in it – in a kind of bullying way. He does this most if he has been drinking. He never stays too long but I want to him to respect my home as my home and to respect that I am a good mother. How do I do this?”
This is troubling on a few levels: the father of your children is checking up on if the children are safe in your house BUT he is driving them after he has been drinking. This is the first issue to face.
Children deserve drivers who are 100% sober. This is a matter for you to address with your lawyer and your ex.
Bullies seldom learn from reason – you have a legitimate desire to protect your boundaries but enforcing them with a man who sounds disrespectful and entitled my be difficult for your to do on your own.
It’s time to gather your community and seek the wisdom of those who know you the best and have loved you the longest.
difficultrelationships.com 
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