Life-rules when you are 10 and a boy

by Rod Smith
  1. Swimming is the same as having a bath or taking a shower.
  2. Taking a real bath or shower using actual soap and shampoo makes you clean for four days.
  3. Licking your fingers is the same as washing your hands.
  4. Turning your clothing inside out it is the same as putting on clean clothes.
  5. Eating an apple is the same as brushing your teeth.
  6. Putting on a shirt by pulling it over your head combs your hair.
  7. Making your bed wastes playing time because you get into it at night.
  8. Eating potato chips gives you all the vegetables you need.
  9. Tidying a bedroom is ridiculous if you can already see any part of the floor or carpet.
  10. Sleeping wastes play time except on school days.
  11. You can climb and throw anything if you really want to.
  12. Flossing and flushing should be avoided.
  13. Bodies of water must be disturbed, no matter how peaceful or beautiful, you must throw something into it be it a pond, a pool, or the ocean.
  14. Lit candles anywhere, like on a birthday cake or on a table in a restaurant must be disturbed; they must NEVER be left alone.

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