I try to show him how to be romantic…..

by Rod Smith

“My husband takes me for granted. He does not feel the need to make an effort to make me feel special. I know he is not the romantic type. I don’t want flowers and expensive gifts. He says he does not know about all this romantic stuff. So I show him: I slip in a message in his lunch. When I go to the supermarket I sometimes buy him a chocolate and put it on his pillow. I send him love texts but he is not interested. I do know is that he is faithful. Am I being ungrateful and petty? Should I just be happy that he is not cheating and disregard that he does not care? I am so fed up. I don’t feel like trying anymore. He also says I am fighting for something I will never get.” (Edited)

Apparently your husband is quite satisfied with the way things are – while you, on the other hand, are not. Do something about your life, not his. The passive person remains in control so stop working so hard. The harder you work on him the less he will need to work at all.

Read everything you can find by Harriet Lerner. Begin with The Dance of Intimacy.

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