Rebuilding trust is no cakewalk…….

by Rod Smith

“I’ve just ended a five-year affair with a married man. I’m very angry because he lied to me all these years. There were signs of his infidelity towards me but I was so in love with him that I saw past the lies. In the beginning we had such fun, had so much to talk about. The intimacy was unbelievable and we became soul mates. He took photos of me and sent them to my husband. I want to stop this, to get rid of this. I want to live happy life with my husband and make my child happy. Please advise.” (Edited grammar only)

Your anger is misdirected.....

Perhaps your anger is misdirected. I’d suggest, if you are going to be angry, be angry with yourself. Living deceitfully has cost you – and remorse, even anger, is appropriate.

Presumably your husband will have to decide if he desires to continue to remain married. If he does, afford him extended time to vent his understandably angry feelings. Expect mistrust. Expect him to second-guess your every move. Unraveling deceit; exchanging it with trust – is no cakewalk.

Having come clean with your husband, some freedom and happiness might emerge in a few months, but it is likely to be years before the ramifications of your infidelity will sufficiently fade to render you totally free.

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