“I expressed to my partner that I was feeling like a ‘girlfriend with benefits’ or a ‘convenient mistress.’ He was offended, yet when (by my choice) our relationship was no longer physically intimate and he was preparing wages for his domestic, he observed that he should perhaps pay me for ‘services not rendered’. He has expressed some objection to taking me out, paying for the evening, and then having to say goodbye at the door and go home.” (Edited)

If you really want a date with this man I’d suggest you pay your own way. While he perceives paying for an evening out with you as a trade for “benefits,” and you cooperate with his wishes because he has spent money on you, then you are indeed little more than a hired mistress. Apparently the space between you has become clouded and toxic. Your unique wants have polarized the two of you and it is probably time to call it quits.

Posted on November 10, 2009 at 6:06 am in Differentiation, Difficult Relationships, Divorce   |  RSS feed |   Reply   |   Trackback URL