I am 17 and in love with a man who is 43 and I don’t know what to do…

by Rod Smith

I appreciate your brief letter but doubt you will hear what I have to say or that you will adhere to what I suggest. You will avoid much future pain if you take to heart what I have suggested. But, love (or what feels like love) IS blind. It is also deaf, and mute. Therefore my comment is made with the understanding that you will probably not agree with me, hear what I am telling you, or speak up for yourself. Also, you give no indication of your degree of involvement, or if he is married, or if he even knows you. Please take time to send more information.

A twenty-six year age difference would be somewhat understandable if you met this man when you were already in your forties or fifties and each of you had lost a spouse. While you are yet a child, this relationship offers you nothing good or worth having. In the presence of a witness, sever all ties and run in the other direction. A man who is more than twice your age and who displays romantic interest in you is a man without integrity.

2 Comments to “I am 17 and in love with a man who is 43 and I don’t know what to do…”

  1. Nancy's avatar

    There once was a couple; she was 18 and he was 36. Despite differences in age and personality, they fell in love. For reasons that had to do with war and social propriety, they were always just out of reach of one another suffering for their contradictions. Then he died–executed as a traitor to the country he loved–and she, unaware of what happened, searched for him to no avail. She was forced to flee for her own safety severing ties with his family to start life over in America where she married. Love yourself first and enough to take Rod’s advice.

  2. sandra's avatar

    I am 17 and in love with a man who is 43 and I don’t know what to do…..just wish I had someone give me that advise 24 years ago..my husband is 18 years older than i am..I want out so bad..but having a hard time with how to leave..we have two sons 21 and 15..loved him once..or so i thought…but now realize I was looking for a father i never had in my life..please listen and take my adavise..your throwing away the best years of your life.

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