Archive for March 2nd, 2008

March 2, 2008

Couple survives affair…

by Rod Smith

“An affair usually brings about massive hurt and pain to both spouses. I had an affair when my marriage was floundering. She switched my lights back on. I felt alive. Then the reality sunk in. We were both married. This was wrong. Whilst I was ready to leave my wife for this person, and a new, happier life, I remembered also that I’d made a vow. My wife told me that she loved me though she felt hurt and angry. This brought me misery and confusion. I knew that I had no option but to do something about my marriage. We struggled for a while, and then attended the Retrouvaille Marriage Program. I cut off all contact with my girlfriend because there was no choice if I was going to put my values above self-interest. I had done wrong and had to accept responsibility. I learnt that Love is a Decision and not a feeling. I decided to love. It meant having to help my wife deal with her pain by affirming her, letting her talk about her feelings. I learnt how to trust her with my feelings and accept hers without becoming defensive. Our love today shines brighter than it ever did, including when we were just married.” (Edited to 200 words)