He says I am COLD….

by Rod Smith

“I have been married for 25 years. When I met him he was drinking and I never thought much of it as we were socializing. On our wedding day he was drunk. When our first child was born he was in the car drinking whilst I was in labour and I needed him. It has not stopped there lately he does not stop drinking until he consumes almost a bottle of spirits. He admits he is an alcoholic but he is not interested in help or doing anything about it. He verbally abuses me when he is in this state, yet when he is sober at home, which is seldom, he tries to be so sweet. I find it difficult to submit sexually and show love to this man as he is destroying what is left of our relationship. He suffers from erectile dysfunction and blames me for his problems and accuses me of being cold and not interested in sex.”

Rod Replies: Look at your behavior! Get your focus off his actions and onto your own actions. Why would you put up with such nonsense for even a week, let alone 25 years? Ice cold is appropriate! Move on. You have but one life to live – why would you spend it engaging in such nonsense? 

4 Comments to “He says I am COLD….”

  1. You have been tagged for The Personal Development List. I would love for you to participate by linking back to the list, and adding your favorite personal development blogs (if they are not already on the list.)

    You may also be interested in submitting an article for the book I am currently working on for information you can find more information about my book project at http://www.difficultrelationships.com/

  2. If man blames YOU for his ‘brewers droop,’ this is abuse. If his drinking affects the marriage-& he does nothing-he loves “the bottle” more than you. I also,was in a similar situation & I left . This was a painful,lost time & I didn’t feel any better for leaving him,regardless of what others might say. Finally I discovered about co-dependancy & how it saps you. Heavy drinkers are like “vampires,”& suck everything from you. When they’re remorseful & sweet-it’s confusing-like Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde. At 60, I am receiving counselling. Good luck!

  3. I can see how my drinking can be “vampire like” with regards to the relations with my wife and 2 children.
    I have a hard time quitting because I’m not at all abusive. In fact, I’m a lot more open, engaging and responsive when I drink. Growing up, I was around family that became abusive and even physically violent after a few drinks. I guess those experiences led me to be a “more in control” drinker. While growing up I always shunned those people that became Mr. Hyde after a few drinks.

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