My parents in New Zealand need help….

by Rod Smith

“I seek help for my parents who live in New Zealand. I have ticked all the items from your article on 2006/05/18 about spousal abuse on my mother’s behalf but both are in dire need of immediate help. They have been married for 32 years and I have grown up seeing my father mistreat and disrespect my mother. She thinks about leaving him all the time but says she doesn’t know stops her. My father gambles their savings and he’s an alcoholic who blames my mother for his failures. It’s almost as though my mother has become comfortable with being uncomfortable all her married life. As they are getting older, I fear more and more about their safety and I want to help them. Can you help me help them at all?”

Rod responds: After 32 years they are “in dire need of immediate help.” I don’t think so. They have danced this way for so long you can be sure nothing will change because anyone of us writes of says anything. Until your mother sees something about her behavior that must change, things will stay the same. Regard yourself as powerless over your parents’ marriage. The sooner you do this, the sooner one of them might get some helpful help.

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