My boyfriend has broken up with me but I can’t get him out of my mind. I still love him. He is with a friend of mine but he still sees me on the side when she is at work. It hurts me that he cheated on me with her. Now I am glad he is cheating with me on her. He flirts with me by sending me text messages and says he misses me. We get together when she is working and then after we’ve been together about an hour of two, I don’t hear from him for about two weeks. He has a way with women that everyone he has been with still knows and likes him. He brags he can get back with any of his old girlfriends. What should I do? (Letter edited)

This toxic entanglement reveals such selfishness and immaturity on the part of each participant that only severe cut-off from all these “relationships” on the reader’s part might give her sufficient room for insight and growth.

Pain is a wonderful motivator, and there does not appear, at present, to be enough of it to move this toxic bind to greater health.