With no wish to “rain on anyone’s parade” – an American phrase I found rather fascinating when I landed in this great country three decades ago – I do want to write a few things about mothers and motherhood in the wake of Mother’s Day weekend which is so correctly and widely celebrated. 

Please join me in acknowledging:

Mothers who try to hold families together “for the children” whether you or I agree with such a necessity or not. Every family and every family issue is unique. When women “stay for the children” the women deserves respect and support for their choices.

Mothers who love with an illogical and irrational love and appear to be supporting or enabling an addiction or the poor choices of a son or daughter – or a spouse. Women have their reasons. Judgement and ridicule from outsiders are painful and unhelpful.

Mothers (and fathers) who have buried a child and for whom the wounds of grief are brutally fresh and, it seems, it will always be as if the death occurred this very morning.

Women who’d give anything to have or have had a fruitful womb but now must observe with dignified reserve those who shower them with platitudes.

Women who chose adoption (and often secrecy) for one – or two or three – babies born to them and now for whom these people are growing, grown, distant and unknown.