“I am married to the nicest man, loving, caring, generous. However, put him in a car and we have road-rage coupled with racism. We are about to embark on a very long road trip and I’m already wondering how I’m going to cope. Presently, I just look the other way and try and try to ignore it, but I find it so stressful. It is not easy at all. Can you advise me on this?”
So, driving “transforms” your “nicest man,” who is “loving, caring, generous” into a road raging racist. This backdrop – the fact he is capable of being loving and caring – suggests your husband is fully capable of a heart-to-heart conversation with you before you leave the house.
If such a conversation ignites his anger then I’d suggest you are in some understandable denial about how loving and caring and generous he is.
Tell your husband that his raging and racist responses to the environment when he is driving ruins the trip for you. Tell him what you experience when he rages. While you “look the other way” he has no need to try to control his lurking unresolved anger and race issues.
Driving doesn’t cause anger and frustration and racist attitudes, it exposes what is already living within the heart.
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