A significant problem with disdain, contempt, rejection, or downright hate, is that it impacts the source more than it (usually) does the victim.
If you (or I, of course) harbor negative thoughts and feelings toward a former spouse, in-laws, parents, or neighbors, anyone for that matter, we poison our own wells. We damage ourselves, and the self-damage usually outshines the impact on our victims.
Hate (or contempt or disdain – people usually like to avoid the word hate with “softer” terms) even though that’s what it is:
• Poisons our view on the world and on all other people, even those we love.
• Even the beautiful things and beautiful experiences are contaminated if we harbor hate for even one person.
• Hate has trouble being contained and its power infects everything we do and see and experience.
• Hate, like all viruses, has no boundaries, and so it indiscriminately invades and spoils even where it’s uninvited.
• Makes us cynical and we become cynical for so long it becomes a way of life, making us contemptuous of those who are hopeful and of those who express optimism.
Love, forgiveness, grace, and goodness are better than hate – yet hate has quite a following.
Grace, goodness, kindness will lift our spirits and open a world of fresh and wonderful possibilities.
Love is courageous and creative. It’s always the best option.
difficultrelationships.com 
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