Rage, the quiet kind

by Rod Smith

Some people have “quiet rage.”

They are usually very controlled and accomplished people, known for their ability to cope with stress and difficult circumstances.

But, deep inside, they are regularly seething.

The controlled demeanor hides and buries the agitation.

The façade has dual purposes: it gives others the sense that things are fine; it gives the host the idea that things really are under control.

He or she is a person dangerously divided. It creates separation both among others and within the self.

While quiet rage might not impact casual relationships in a meaningful manner it can be very damaging for the host and all who love him or her.

If this observation “rings a bell” for you I’d like to suggest quiet rage is deeply rooted in a few sources: disappointment, the desire to control the often uncontrollable, and in the painful discovery that each of us struggles to live up to our own expectations, never mind the expectations of others.

Quiet rage will only be quiet and cooperate for a season. Then, it grows. It wants out. It manifests in overt anger and illnesses. It won’t maintain its silence or its semblance of respectability.

Talk it out before it breaks out, breaks things, and hurts people, yourself included. 

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