My inner victim!

by Rod Smith

The Mercury – Monday

Questions to quell the inner-victim….

There’s something very powerful about asking myself questions. The process puts me in my place. It quells the budding victim in me, especially when I face difficult circumstances or mistakenly think I’m not being sufficiently honored.

These nine live up my sleeve:

• How can I grow (up) from this? Immaturity is at the heart of victim thinking – at least for me (perhaps it’s also true for you).

• Where do I need to give up a desire to control others or an outcome? Coming face-to-face with my finiteness is occasionally annoying.

• What is (or was) my role in getting myself into this? I’m the common factor in everything I face.

• In a decade or so what about this will I remember? Importance drains with time the more trivial the issue.

• How important is this? Is this worth the energy already spent and are you ok with dishing out even more?

• Am I blaming anyone for anything? Other people are almost always NOT the problem.

• Is there anyone I have failed or refused to forgive? Transference and projection are victim breakfast.

• What is the brutal truth? Come on, you know it.

• What will it take to keep my integrity in tact and for as many people as possible to benefit from this circumstance? Sometimes you have to look over the horizon.

Answering such questions, as tough as they may be, helps me avoid becoming a victim, thinking like one, or turning others into my victims.

They remind me that I am responsible for my life.

When the voice of the closet victim tries to assert itself, these questions shut it down, so the grown, and growing man within me can act, and do what a thinking and responsible man has to do.


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