Over, under, healthy – parenting |

Over, under, healthy – parenting

by Rod Smith

An unsolicited discussion guide for parent groups and schools

What over protection says to children:

You are not really capable and need all the help you can get.
Something missing or wrong inside you and you’ll never survive this rough world without vigilant oversight and extra help.
Someone is always watching out for you and picking up for you so there’s no need to grow up.
Your community will always rescue you.

What under-protection says to children:

You are not worthy of love or protection.
Something missing or wrong inside you so fight off anyone who may see it or find out.
You are alone and in the way.
A community, if you find one, can use you and turn on you.

What healthy parenting says to children:

You are treasured and capable and will sometimes need help and encouragement.
Every day you are becoming better prepared to be a fully functioning and loving adult.
You are whole and have everything it takes to face life’s many and beautiful challenges.
Every day, little by little, you need adults less and less because you can do more and more for yourself.
Your community loves you and expects you to achieve and become all you ever wanted to achieve and become.
The world is yours – go to it.