Archive for June 14th, 2018

June 14, 2018

I’m sad; not unhappy

by Rod Smith

The Mercury / in response to yesterday

“How can someone who has everything, a beautiful loving family, a loving partner, and living in a beautiful home with all her animals be so sad. Not unhappy, but sad!”

I’d suggest a few sources for potential pursuit:

You may have a purely medical issue. A doctor may be able to help.

You may have stored uncried tears from an interruption in life: a loss, unwanted change, an event you faced by “pulling yourself together” when falling apart would have been useful. Unexpressed or ignored emotion doesn’t dissipate, it ferments. Then, it drives and steers to territories often unhelpful. Dig deep; go back years. There’s no expiry date when it comes to grief ignored. A good psychologist could assist.

For all the love you enjoy in your family and in your home and with your animals perhaps you’re missing being part of an intimate peer community. A group where lives deeply meld and mutually discover added support and meaning. A good church could help.

Finally, sadness, while uncomfortable, may not be an enemy. It’s often the food of the novelist or the impetus for chasing a worthwhile cause. I look forward to hearing how you perhaps will capitalize on yours and use it as transformative fuel.

The picture (of course it not going to appear in The Mercury):

I finally have the full set of Rhino Ties from TAFT University. Thank you Toni List Ricker and Sophie Ricker for these remarkable gifts.

June 14, 2018

The greatest gifts we bring

by Rod Smith

The Mercury / Thursday

The greatest gifts we can offer each other as spouses, intimates, friends, and as colleagues:

• The truth as we perceive it: knowing that events, feelings, circumstances, history, and responses to everything are in the heart and the eye of the beholder. Everyone has his or her own set of lenses, lenses colored and distorted by a myriad of variables, immediate and historical, which are shaped by rational and irrational life-experiences. Even though we may not agree on the truth and its precise shape, offering another truth, as he or she knows it, is a gift of love.

• The time to be heard: knowing that being heard and understood do not necessarily mean agreement. Hearing, too, is in the heart of the hearer. Everyone’s ears are filtered through a myriad of variables and experiences, some immediate and some ages old, but the gift of love we each can offer is the willingness to put aside differences and listen.

• The freedom and space to be distinct: knowing that there exists a strong pull toward sameness in thinking, feeling, and interpreting, and a strong pull toward togetherness. It’s a gift of immense value when we open our hearts to those in our spheres of influence and encourage the love and the exercise of freedom divinely imparted to every person.