“My son (28) and my live-in boyfriend do not get along. At best there is unspoken tension. At worst they go at each other and insult each other. Neither works nor brings in any money and both accuse the other of living off me. I support both. My son says this is ‘more acceptable’ for him since he is my son. My boyfriend says he at least helps around the house and that’s how he ‘pays’ his share. Please don’t tell me to ‘get out of the middle’ because that’s impossible. I am not going to put my son out in this economy where it is so hard to find a job and my boyfriend has nowhere to go.” (Vast edits)
 
Since you are aware of the necessity to get out of the middle you will do so when you are ready.

Your situation is a fine example of how we treat people how to treat us. You have enabled two fully-grown men to live off you and you all apparently regard it as acceptable.

Of course the men don’t get along. If they had meaningful jobs they’d feel better about life, and you, and have no time to engage in immature games.

Millions of people work – the men in your house can, too.    

Posted on July 23, 2017 at 9:18 am in Difficult Relationships   |  RSS feed |   Reply   |   Trackback URL